chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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