So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
