I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
