Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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