Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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