I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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