can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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