so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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