i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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