We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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