At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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