Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
