For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize