Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
