i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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