I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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