season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How does it feel to date your dad?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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