I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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