This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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