i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
