In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
