hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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