Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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