Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's never too late to be topless.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize