your parents love me but you hate me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize