that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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