lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize