It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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