So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
