Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
