oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
