So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
