My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
