We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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