Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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