He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize