Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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