Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
