I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize