Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
