Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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