we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
