You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
