Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
