dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize