i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
