You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
how does that bad decision feel?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
