i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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