to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
