Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
