You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
