Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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