Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
