Texts From Last Night

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  (855): View more from

  I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?

  (855): View more from

  No. I am devastated

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  (855): I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts? (855): No. I am devastated http://tfl.nu/0cqz
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (992)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common

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  (907): It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common http://tfl.nu/qmer
  Replies (47) Good night (1436) Bad night (4554)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in

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  (773): literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in http://tfl.nu/d9qi
  Replies (8) Good night (4075) Bad night (1951)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.

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  (573): I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him. http://tfl.nu/m4j0
  Replies (3) Good night (1948) Bad night (1384)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (2089) Bad night (1196)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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  (806): I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you. http://tfl.nu/8w6h
  Replies (12) Good night (3387) Bad night (971)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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  (314): I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/tow2
  Replies (4) Good night (1609) Bad night (576)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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  (580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs
  Replies (7) Good night (1189) Bad night (565)
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (768)
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  (707): View more from California

  I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.

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  (707): I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made. http://tfl.nu/x9xf
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (330)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.

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  (501): You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns. http://tfl.nu/4e6u
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (293)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.

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  (630): drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it. http://tfl.nu/wzpk
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (361)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity

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  (416): I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity http://tfl.nu/q8vj
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (397)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.

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  (314): I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best. http://tfl.nu/05vy
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (383)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.

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  (317): So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day. http://tfl.nu/ljj0
  Replies (3) Good night (232) Bad night (493)

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