Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
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Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.