What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10