That's intense
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
