Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Why does tequilla always make you text me?

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  (301): You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate. (240): Why does tequilla always make you text me? http://tfl.nu/qeax
  Replies (13) Good night (4125) Bad night (794)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5377) Bad night (922)
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  (650): View more from California

  Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.

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  (650): Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart. http://tfl.nu/8dw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5350) Bad night (1271)
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  (+65): View more from

  No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

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  (+65): No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car. http://tfl.nu/46mc
  Replies (20) Good night (4558) Bad night (1107)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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  (503): I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/wdtm
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (2335)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

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  (402): In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rvi7
  Replies (11) Good night (1072) Bad night (4156)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.

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  (402): She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/qnwu
  Replies (4) Good night (2102) Bad night (980)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

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  (425): UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD http://tfl.nu/7k7x
  Replies (9) Good night (2532) Bad night (670)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  (303): You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller (1-303): I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth http://tfl.nu/tary
  Replies (10) Good night (1045) Bad night (2283)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.

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  (317): Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina. http://tfl.nu/mqdf
  Replies (9) Good night (1429) Bad night (903)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (1038) Bad night (360)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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  (573): She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex. http://tfl.nu/fa1q
  Replies (10) Good night (1279) Bad night (601)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  hey the jello shots wont freeze

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  How much Everclear did you put in them?

  (512): View more from Texas

  uhhh all of it

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  (512): hey the jello shots wont freeze (1-512): How much Everclear did you put in them? (512): uhhh all of it http://tfl.nu/x77r
  Replies (5) Good night (1608) Bad night (373)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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  (618): Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote http://tfl.nu/plk1
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (244)
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  (+81): View more from

  He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????

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  (+81): He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave???? http://tfl.nu/srpt
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (261)

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