Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.

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  (412): When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career. http://tfl.nu/solb
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (2167)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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  (440): Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing http://tfl.nu/ipht
  Replies (8) Good night (610) Bad night (3247)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding

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  (931): don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding http://tfl.nu/47j9
  Replies (10) Good night (5831) Bad night (1200)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.

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  (717): Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/6xgz
  Replies (39) Good night (996) Bad night (7684)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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  (908): Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage. http://tfl.nu/uh3k
  Replies (14) Good night (5889) Bad night (1400)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin

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  (206): i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin http://tfl.nu/oy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (1259) Bad night (4548)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.

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  (406): To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved. http://tfl.nu/shxy
  Replies (10) Good night (6551) Bad night (1129)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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  (302): He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was. http://tfl.nu/ureg
  Replies (6) Good night (1354) Bad night (2602)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church

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  (517): Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church http://tfl.nu/wqjh
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (2928)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (1485)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"

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  (312): I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day" http://tfl.nu/qds9
  Replies (5) Good night (1540) Bad night (1438)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.

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  (617): The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library. http://tfl.nu/8dpw
  Replies (2) Good night (1247) Bad night (955)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?

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  (+44): He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks? http://tfl.nu/sa4o
  Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (420)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back

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  (716): You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back http://tfl.nu/8nu2
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP

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  (518): I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP http://tfl.nu/hem1
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (339)

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