ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

  Fav 12 3260 769

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

  Fav 29 3370 3961

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

  Fav 16 1194 3786

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

  Fav 34 2391 8667

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

  Fav 4 1289 2861

  share tweet
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?

  Fav 5 2349 831

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (469): View more from Texas

  I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!

  Fav 13 4119 1130

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

  Fav 6 1746 709

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.

  Fav 4 663 500

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

  Fav 2 475 756

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.

  Fav 1 249 437

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (269): View more from Michigan

  This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???

  Fav 2 241 384

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.

  Fav 2 97 13

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10

  Fav 0 22 99

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together

  Fav 0 36 2

  share tweet
  

Randomize