i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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