Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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