i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
