I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
