Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
