Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
