the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
