I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize