summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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