i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
