I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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