I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
