she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
