No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
