oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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