if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
...so i touched it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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